I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I understand Curling. That high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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