just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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