even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
