if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it because I queefed?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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