she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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