this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
