What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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