after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
