wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
