having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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