We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
