I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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