i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
