Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
