May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
