Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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