why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
