i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
