Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
