Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
