Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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