Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
