Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
