There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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