Where did you get a picture of my penis
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
