she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
