Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
