people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
