I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
