wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
