Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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