that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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