Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
