I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I deserve this hangover.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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