how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
