her vagine was all disorganized.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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