I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
