Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize