I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
