Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
