why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
