bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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