somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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