He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
