Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You pole danced in your parka.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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