One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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