ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
