i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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