physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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