I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Randomize