He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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