your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
