I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize