What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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