dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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