Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
