sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
