I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
