Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
