so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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