The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
