"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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