im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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