btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
